let’s get the day started with a nice big bowl of why the fuck am I awake 

kankrivantas:

do you ever think really awful thoughts and suddenly become aware that you are not a good person

toukos:

things that are ok

• being pansexual but having a preference
• loving yourself or disliking yourself
• having sex
• not liking nudity
• being gay/straight
• cross-dressing 
• being transgender
• masturbation
• one night stands
• being fat/skinny
• wearing revealing clothes

things that are not ok

• viewing people negatively because of the things above

peanutbutta:

It either takes me 5 months to read a book or I read five of them in 2 days. There is no inbetween.

ambitiousbard:

just be grateful that bing didn’t buy tumblr

sunshineface0014:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem

You can’t even see your problem

ishimarusextips:

GATHER YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY IN YOUR HOME. EXPLAIN TO THEM THAT YOU’LL BE GIVING A PERFORMANCE. SEAT THEM IN FRONT OF A CLOSET. 

ANNOUNCE “ACT 1” AND STEP INTO THE CLOSET. WAIT FOR A FEW MINUTES THEN COME OUT OF THE CLOSET AND SAY “I AM GAY.” THEN YOU GO BACK INTO THE CLOSET AND SHOUT “THE END” TO AVOID IMMEDIATE AND AWKWARD QUESTIONS.

ameliaslastgoodbye:

one thing I will never understand is how normal people are unaffected by movies or books I mean when they watch a movie or finish a book they say “well that was a good movie/book” and they move on while I have an existentional crisis and question the whole universe